From ‘Negative Influences’ - Here’s Why Pessimistic Companions Might Help Your Well-Being
I am hungry for insights from people about handling midlife challenges, including deep inner questions, diminishing importance, noticing one’s neck like a Salvador Dalí clock and a newfound passion regarding sunny relocation programs. Lately, I read the chef’s comments regarding his fiftieth birthday via a discussion: “Trimming unnecessary clutter is key to enjoying your later years,” he noted. “Spend time with positive individuals. I steer clear of downbeat types – ‘energy vampires’ – and am learning to decline more often.”
Initially, I wondered: isn’t there a tension regarding shunning downbeat folks and mastering refusal? Doesn’t that mean he has to avoid himself? I know – it’s exactly the kind of thing a mood hoover would say, and that’s because I am one. Yet, we gloomy souls like to call ourselves “vibe suckers”. Steer clear of labels like “killjoy” or “buzzkill” – equating us to mundane objects hurts; we do experience emotions (even if they’re mostly bleak). In a bind, I might tolerate “melancholy luxury blanket”.
It’s possible you’re also a member. Are you often the gathering’s pragmatist instead of its enthusiast? Does your thorough reply to casual greetings make people step back nervously? Upon hearing “exciting” ideas, do you make a face as if you’ve tasted something vile? Do you strongly identify with Eeyore; has a psychic ever told you your aura is grey?
Should this ring true, welcome to the club, and it’s fine. Although modern wisdom pushes folks to discard “sapping” companions, I contend we bring substantial worth. I imagine a negative type would have voiced caution – or pulled a disapproving expression – when Jamie mentioned his children’s book idea featuring an Indigenous protagonist without proper consultation, potentially averting numerous issues, hurt, and anger. You don’t get that sort of service from “lovely people”.
